you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I am midnight drunk by noon
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
