The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
