THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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