Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
