I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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