You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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