I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
