I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there was a trapeze. enough said
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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