R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
