i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
