You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
