The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
