I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
