hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
