I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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