Umm I'm too high to move.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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