can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
