8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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