i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
