drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
