YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
