Sry I called you an 8
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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