Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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