1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
