Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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