How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
