Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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