i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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