you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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