I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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