But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i would punch a child for taco bell
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
