U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
