Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
