if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
