I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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