Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
