She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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