We're facebook friends in real life
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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