id be glad to
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
