You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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