on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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