sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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