Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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