We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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