Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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