We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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