he puts the penis in happiness.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
