I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
