I got chris browned last night
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
