Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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