So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm getting married
To pizza
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
