Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need moral support for this bender
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
