Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
