Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
