sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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