just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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