You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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