Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
